How to deal with the burden of unfulfilled tasks

Do you now have a feeling that you have a big load of tasks, responsibility, because of this everything seems in dark colors? And when you remember about important tasks, you twitch, it can even manifest itself outwardly: you can say or do something unconsciously, twitch or sharply shift your gaze.

All this suggests that you have one or more tasks that you do not want to do, the deadlines are missed and there is no strength and motivation to admit to yourself in your laziness and start doing something.

Further neglect of these problems can lead to negative consequences: procrastination, depression, anxiety disorders, quarrels and estrangement from people with whom you do not want to quarrel, as well as you can miss some opportunities and in general life can go wrong. Of course, we don't want any of that.

So what to do? After all, there is no strength to fulfill all that impossible load of tasks. Let's find out:

Preparation ​

1. No matter how unpleasant it would be to think about these tasks, still gather your will in a fist and write these tasks in a list in a notebook. I hope you already have such an application, if not, it is not superfluous to install it or use the tried and tested grandfatherly way - pen and paper.
2. Write down everything that concerns this task: what needs to be done, how I feel about this task, write out all the feelings even if they seem so clear. Also write out what is the deadline, what depends on the fulfillment and non-fulfillment of this task and how you will be treated by the person on whom the fulfillment or non-fulfillment of this task depends.
3. Do this for all tasks that cause unpleasant feelings. Concentrate only on these tasks, not on all of them in a row

Analysis ​

• Can I give up this task altogether?
• How important is this task at all? Perhaps it is important only to the person who gave it to you, but not to you.
• Is this task manipulative? Perhaps it was put on you by a manipulator, who only does nothing but give tasks to everyone and does not do anything or even know how to do it himself.
• Is this person not taking advantage of your super responsibility?
• Do you have to perform this task? Perhaps you were given it because you are irreproachable, and delegate it to a more suitable person, afraid that he or she may refuse or get angry.
• Can I delegate this task? Or pay (at least with a chocolate bar) another person to do it.
• Can I still accomplish this task in a short time? I used to be able to take my will in my fist and do a burning task.
• If you really don't have free time, is it possible to agree to reschedule?

Action ​

• Take a sober look at what you've written, preferably the next day.
• Choose the most appropriate action: execute, refuse, delegate, agree to reschedule

Motivation ​

• When you accomplish a task, you will get a great relief, like taking off a tight shoe after a long day spent in it.
• This relief will make you feel much better about yourself
• After completing this task, you will finally be able to do something that is really important to you.
• You can think of a reward after you complete the task. But it's better if it's something that doesn't involve quick gratification. Drinking alcohol or eating something sweet doesn't work. It is better, for example, to go for a rest on the sea or in the forest, to walk at sunset, to ride for pleasure on a car or motorcycle on your favorite track with your favorite music, etc. In general, what you like and what you get high from

After that ## After that ​

• Consider: how I got into this in the first place and how I can avoid such problems in the future and try not to take on tasks from the person who imposes them on me in a manipulative way.
• Consider keeping a list of tasks for each day, week, month, year. To prevent yourself from taking on destructive tasks and be focused on your own tasks, not someone else's.
• Don't blame yourself for hitting deadlines, the important thing is that you figure it all out and get it done!
• Think about how to refuse or delegate a similar task next time if it doesn't do anything for you.
• Praise yourself, your guardian angel or whatever you believe in, that you did it and realized and learned a lot. You're doing a great job! Be grateful to life, God, the universe (underline as appropriate) for the lesson you have been given.

But don't forget that if you get relief, it's still relief, not pleasure, real pleasure is when you work on something for yourself, on your project and achieve small or big victories. Real pleasure is going on your own path, achieving your goals and accomplishing the tasks that lead to those goals.